when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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