would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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