I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm passing your future prison.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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