He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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