I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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