I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize