just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
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if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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