I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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