you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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