he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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