I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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