Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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