I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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