also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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