Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
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I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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