If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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