dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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