It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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