I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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