You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize