Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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