Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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