I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize