but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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