I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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