Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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