Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize