Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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