My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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