Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize