Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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