PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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