He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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