I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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