You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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