my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize