I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize