Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

(734): View more from Michigan

you're 26.

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(313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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(508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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(215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj

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(805): View more from California

why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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(805): why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego?? http://tfl.nu/9r13

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

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(267): When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking. http://tfl.nu/7g2d

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq

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(847): View more from Illinois

after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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(847): after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit." http://tfl.nu/sc5b

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(647): View more from Ontario

it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me

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(647): it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me http://tfl.nu/r4c5

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(925): View more from California

She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.

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(925): She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again. http://tfl.nu/nmj5

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(404): View more from Georgia

It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers

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(404): It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers http://tfl.nu/xcf7

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(813): View more from Florida

thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not

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(813): thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not http://tfl.nu/vkjn

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

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(412): I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all http://tfl.nu/skme

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Are you alive?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.

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(204): Are you alive? (1-204): I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all. http://tfl.nu/y639

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(402): View more from Nebraska

THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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(402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l

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(512): View more from Texas

Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

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(512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx

Replies (5) Good night (734) Bad night (201)

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