in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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