Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize