He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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