i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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