Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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