would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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