I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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