One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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