He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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