The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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