Is it because I queefed?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize