Your face is a jimmy john
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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